Hi... I am Shanting! 你好... 我是善葶！

2011-10-19T23:46:00.001+08:00

I got home and no one is back. I hate that! Cause it strangely remind me of the last week my mom had before she passed on.

It hurts when you lose someone.
And it hurts when your memory of them starts fading.

2011-07-30T21:18:00.002+08:00

I think most people forgot my existence. I have not written for a long long time.

Yesterday I meet suhba for a reading. Was crying my eyes out towards the end. He didn't love me. He just wanted the money. Excuse me how far is 7 bus stops away cause that's how far I need to keep my distance from him. 3 symbols me carrying him on a cart, me aging till my pocket overturn into his well that's depthless, and my tree slowing dying with his creeper climbing on me.

I surrender my heart and my everything to God. It didn't matter I don't get my car back. I want my heart healed Lord! My first session at the caregroup had a strong me breaking down in front of everyone. So difficult to walk the road cause so much pain on my feet. Lord hear me... I don't wanna take another step on the cool hard painful ground.

Today I found out that the ice cream cake I bought for his son birthday. He celebrated with his wife. What a happy family!!! I want to slap myself. Dumbass!!!

tired......

2009-12-14T12:04:00.002+08:00

tired......

too many things on my mind....

nothing to blog about.......

too much pain to talk about.......

Just wanna have a good cry and then tomorrow is better...

2009-10-28T08:25:00.002+08:00

Words cannot express the disappointment...

Lies while I stood by you only to realise that while I was fighting for your innocence... the rest of the world is mocking me.

Naive ya... I thought I gave up so much so much to help you. I wonder if it is possible to ever learn to trust anyone again...

Trust once lost... when will it ever come back...

2009-10-20T00:54:00.002+08:00

everything that could go wrong... Went wrong... First it was the cream cheese then the strawberries... And finally the tart broke before i put it into the box... Zzz

2009-10-18T08:53:00.004+08:00

下一個天亮

用起伏的背影擋住哭泣的心
有些故事不必說給每個人聽
許多眼睛看的太淺太近
錯過我沒被看見那個自己

用簡單的言語解開超載的心
有些情緒是該說給懂的人聽
你的熱淚比我激動憐惜
我發誓要更努力更有勇氣

等下一個天亮去上次牽手賞花那里散步好嗎
有些積雪會自己融化你的肩膀是我豁達的天堂
等下一個天亮把偷拍我看海的照片送我好嗎
我喜歡我飛舞的頭發和飄著雨還是眺望的眼光

用簡單的言語解開超載的心
有些情緒是該說給懂的人聽
你的熱淚比我激動憐惜
我發誓要更努力更有勇氣

等下一個天亮去上次牽手賞花那里散步好嗎
有些積雪會自己融化你的肩膀是我豁達的天堂
等下一個天亮把偷拍我看海的照片送我好嗎
我喜歡我飛舞的頭發和飄著雨還是眺望的眼光
時間可以磨去我的棱角有些堅持卻永遠磨不掉
請容許我小小的驕傲因為有你這樣的依靠

等下一個天亮去上次牽手賞花那里散步好嗎
有些積雪會自己融化你的肩膀是我豁達的天堂
等下一個天亮把偷拍我看海的照片送我好嗎
我喜歡我飛舞的頭發和飄著雨還是眺望的眼光

2009-10-18T07:21:00.004+08:00

Been up since the wee hours of 5am...

We chatted...

Tales of regret and remorse came up during the conversation... Talks about how self centred he was... how he drag me down when I was up there... about how he didnt know to appreciate me and to spend more time with me. I suppose it is too late now.

I told him I thank him for many valuable lessons... how he made me more adventurous, how I became more independent. Its the truth... Even though my heart skipped a beat... things will never be the same... Someone told me a month ago... move on... cos he moved on already... and my exact reply was I moved on long time back.

Maybe its because you suddenly have no one by your side... thats why you thought of me... not because you really want me back... We could be great friends... your words still mean so much to me. Like a big brother now... telling his younger sister how naive she is and how unforgiving the rest of the world it. I appreciate cause you have seen the strength and weakness all in me.

With amazing load of plans going forward... I just want to look ahead smile... Preparing myself to claim the VICTORY ahead!!!

One boring afternoon....

2009-08-29T16:00:00.005+08:00

Here is our first attempt... very basic... we looking forward to making a bigger one next time :D

Lonely....

2009-07-26T21:42:00.002+08:00

Settled into the dream home... after one year of "chasing" this dream...

Is it true that I am the only one painting a picture of a dream home? I guess.... *heart aching*

2009-05-23T23:27:00.002+08:00

Is it easier to be alone and not take upon extra burden?

Or

Is it easier to be loved and carrying all the load?

I ponder... If only its easier to make a decision in life... I can only confide here. But who will hear my cries? I wish I can sleep better and tears will not flood my life again...

Biting on and moving on with the tough battle ahead...

Happy Birthday to Me

2009-04-19T15:37:00.001+08:00

Tulips in my favourite color... Thanks baby :D

Sorry

2009-04-18T20:45:00.009+08:00

Fondly and sadly missed by me...

Take care in Heaven... God will hold you in his arms and protect you from now on...

Sorry, sorry, sorry and sorry... perhaps the word most deeply felt by me but is not the word which you want to hear...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tan K B
17 April 2009

Deeply Loved and Missed by Shanting

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."
-Matthew 5:8

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue and Notti!!!

2009-04-06T19:46:00.003+08:00

My Lucky played with PEN REFILLED and turned BLUE!!! See what he did... he dyed himself blue. Dont know to lauff or be mad at him...

Pringles Shrank!!

2009-04-01T21:06:00.003+08:00

I recall vividly that it was much bigger... Weird...

I am Happy For You!

2009-03-30T19:14:00.002+08:00

Thanks for telling me you are moving on now... I am happy for you. Genuinely Happy For you!

I hope someone can take good care of you... can take over the role I was trying to fit in for the last 4 years. I still feel we can be great friends... maybe not lovers... but definitely great friends.

Its nice to know we have both moved on with our lives and forgiven each other for the hurt we imposed.

Take Care Bro! All it matters was that we were ever together and we have add on to each other's lived... :D

Tired everyday...

2009-03-29T13:09:00.002+08:00

I am feeling so tired everyday. I wish I can recover some of the little energy I ever had so that I can just continue with work and life. Now I am even too lazy to blog or think for that matter.

My back is hurting so bad. Just like an old injury acting up again. Yet there are like a million and zillion things to do in life. I wish God will give me some strength to continue with life. Hopefully, after we settle everything next week. I can get back some zest in my life....

Sorry Kidney Bean... so sorry... :( I wish I can but I cant... so sorry little Kidney Bean... so so sorry...

The Twin Rose

2009-03-23T11:50:00.004+08:00

Just So Random....

2009-03-21T21:49:00.002+08:00

Its one of the nights when you feel restless and wonder what you should surf... which comes up to be......

*Point Blank*

hmm....

I got another bouquet of beautiful flowers... feeling abit tired... will upload them another day

2009-03-21T10:50:00.005+08:00

I received a piece of good news recently... so badly wanna share with everyone out there... but do be patient... just a couple more days.

The last 2 weeks haven been great for me... AW!!! My trusty laptop of almost 3 years is in his final stage of cancer. No amount of anitivirus, rebooting seem to save it. Plus, its charger just went up in smoke a couple of days ago. So I had to BITE THE BULLET and buy a new laptop. My new laptop is BLUEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! and quite chio but I still refuse to give up on my poor samsung, especially when I think of the late night movies and fun time we had... so sad... Pls dont die as yet ya... just retire...

Plus I got a nice nice surprise... FLOWERS AGAIN!!! He call them Joyous... so I will be Joyous like them he say... :D

2009-03-13T09:53:00.001+08:00

I FINALLY HAD A GOOD NIGHT REST!!!

After a month of upset in sleep... I am so tired... My mind wasnt working properly. Today, when i wake up everything i know came back to me again! So happy like a little child given a lollipop...

Ready to CHIONG this weekend... Pls let me haf enuff sleep like last night else I cant function normally!

Self Centred People

2009-03-06T10:25:00.002+08:00

My housemate made tiramisu and cocoa powder was all over the house. I had to clean up every bit of cocoa powder that I found. After so many months of taking her nonsense, I finally BURST!

The last straw is, she and her new BF, another fucking selfcentred person, after eating the tiramisu, put their DIRTY forks on my couch wristlet. WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT??? Now my precious wristlet is dirtied with tiramisu.

Perhaps I can get Lucky to pee on her bed... STUPID BITCH... thats the end of our friendship! TATA

The Missing Words

2009-03-04T09:47:00.002+08:00

Have you ever felt like you are just waiting for someone to say the missing words to you?
The constant quest of these words are so exhausting...

How can someone's words have such impact on me?

Its sad... so sad... I have to let you go finally... Cos you left them unspoken...
I cannot make you a better person... I failed... I hope the next one does the job better...

Take care and God Bless

Lost

2009-03-03T09:54:00.002+08:00

I do not know what to blog...

My heart feels pain... and lost...

If only all the liquor in the world can numb this feeling...

So sorry towards you... I had wanted to walk the rest of my life with you... but is it too late now?

So many things happening... I wanna sleep and escape from this world...

Dinner :D

2009-03-02T09:04:00.005+08:00

Dinner was simply fantastic! :D Maybe you judge yourselves...

Intoxicated!!!

2009-03-01T01:08:00.000+08:00

High on my vodka and beer... so hoping to get even HIGHER!!!

Nevermind... tonight I have you beside me...

hearts beating together :D

Soaking in Nature...

2009-02-22T15:25:00.002+08:00

I always hated life in the city... If only I can wake up to here... I rather hope to have less money and enjoy my life like this....

Whats Wrong

2009-02-17T00:51:00.002+08:00

Hmm... I realise I am very easily affected by people around me... I wish I am less like that...

Happy!

2009-02-16T11:05:00.000+08:00

Flowers are so beautiful... If only they last forever...

Nevermind... what is more important is they were once mine... :D

You Never Loved me

2009-02-11T22:47:00.004+08:00

I guess the title says it all... All the time i was simply chasing something that never existed...

I thought I moved on... I guess i was simply kidding myself.

Things changed, you said you will never be the man I wanted. When all I wanted was you to pay abit of attention to me... for you to give me that little love you can spare... Suppose my cries never reach you...

Yet with him, I constantly seek the kind of feeling that I felt when I was with you. It never seemed to reach such high intoxicating level. Perhaps I forgot how to love someone...

Life is such dilemma... when you have the best you ever wanted, you look behind and hope that the past will change...

爱情转移

徘徊过多少橱窗
住过多少旅馆
才会觉得分离也并不冤枉
感情是用来浏览
还是用来珍藏
好让日子天天都过的难忘
熬过了多久患难
湿了多少眼眶
才能知道伤感是爱的遗产
流浪几张双人床
换过几次信仰
才让戒指义无反顾的交换
把一个人的温暖
转移到另一个的胸膛
让上次犯的错反省出梦想
每个人都是这样
享受过提心吊胆
才拒绝做爱情待罪的羔羊
回忆是抓不到的月光握紧就变黑暗
等虚假的背影消失于晴朗
阳光在身上流转
等所有业障被原谅
爱情不停站
想开往地老天荒
需要多勇敢

烛光照亮了晚餐
照不出个答案
恋爱不是温馨的请客吃饭
床单上铺满花瓣
拥抱让它成长
太拥挤就开到了别的土壤
感情需要人接班
接近换来期望
期望带来失望的恶性循环
短暂的总是浪漫
漫长总会不满
烧完美好青春换一个老伴
把一个人的温暖
转移到另一个的胸膛
让上次犯的错反省出梦想
每个人都是这样
享受过提心吊胆
才拒绝做爱情待罪的羔羊
回忆是抓不到的月光握紧就变黑暗
等虚假的背影消失于晴朗
阳光在身上流转
等所有业障被原谅
爱情不停站
想开往地老天荒
需要多勇敢

把一个人的温暖
转移到另一个的胸膛
让上次犯的错反省出梦想
每个人都是这样
享受过提心吊胆
才拒绝做爱情待罪的羔羊
回忆是抓不到的月光握紧就变黑暗
等虚假的背影消失于晴朗
阳光在身上流转
等所有业障被原谅

爱情不停站
想开往地老天荒
需要多勇敢

你不要失望
荡气回肠是为了
最美的平凡

Branded as a 4th Party

2009-02-10T09:04:00.000+08:00

Alot of time, people jump to conclusion without knowing what was happening...

Some call me... the 3rd party to break up a family...
Some call me... the 4th party to break up the relationship (that already long ended)...

Hostility is all around... Day in Day out... I am pushing on... acting oblivious to harsh comments and hostile environment.

Is this the time I see who my true friends are? Apparently, I have not really met anyone whom supported me in my tough times. All I know is, I need to face the music on my own... I really want to stop going to office until the entire sega is over... Yet I know, I need to be strong and move on.

Perhaps this is what Shifu call Xiao Ren... I need to endure it for another 1/2 year maybe? Then I can reap the fruits of the seeds I sowed.

Have a good day people! Pardon such a negative post today...

Mixed Feeling

2009-02-07T15:55:00.002+08:00

An ex colleague called me earlier about her wedding invitation next week. She was asking if she should put me to sit with you. I told her I am fine. Until she mentioned about the banker...

Actually, yes I think I know about her long ago. But you deny so many a times. Now I know I have made a right choice to step out of your life. You never loved me, I was more like someone whom you used to clean your shit, to vent your anger on. Now I am glad I moved on and found someone else who loves me and appreciates me. Yes, I do not understand why someone is willing to take upon this role to care and love me after what you have done for me. Thats alot of damage control you know. Yet he is willing to nurture me from my dying state and making me bloom and grow again.

Steven Loh... I just want to tell you that... Thank you for letting me know that in my darkest, swayest days, I was with you. Thank you for cheating behind my back. Thank you for turning violent on me. Thank you for robbing my little self confidence left.

All because,

Now, I know how to love more... I know how to give... I know how to share.... I know how to accept love...

So happy to have met you baby :D

Life is Better

2009-02-05T23:37:00.002+08:00

I dont know what to say or what to blog... I just feel very blessed and happy...

Everything is falling in place as what shifu say... :D

My Space

2009-02-03T08:13:00.002+08:00

My beloved blog has spark off alot of arguement since establishment. Yet its my trusty friend whom I feel so comfortable sharing my life story. Along the way, people got upet with me. but HEY!! Ain't this my personal space? Did I ask you to read my blog? Do I not have the right to have a space that is mine so I can vent out my frustration?

I gave up on diaries many years ago. Cos diaries are too intimate and they are more like a piece of me. Blog allows me to express who I am, at the same time, I avoid certain issues that I do not want to speak of. Yes... thats how I vent everything unhappy.

People SPEAK! What do you want me to say? In the entire 1 month that I went office early, NO ONE NOTICE ME. Yet now, people will see me around... obviously for the wrong reasons. Some people had the chance and lost it. Now they are upset cause I got the chance. WHY? What have I done to deserve such treatment? Now i rather wanna slap the fucking face who did all this shit to me. Can I come out of hibernation? Will ppl allow that?

I guess I really hope to be a hermit and hide forever...

Complementary

2009-02-02T08:24:00.001+08:00

Seriously, I was all geared up to work this morning until I receive this blaming sms...

WAKE UP!!! I know its the OX year but it does not mean you should take the STUBBORNESS of an OX. Besides, quit blaming the whole world for what had happen. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY! Your actions caused the results now... so face the music...

QUIT BLAMING!

Yes as what my title reads, all the more I want to touch on this topic this morning. COMPLEMNTARY! When 2 parties get together, they should never be required to "ren" each other. More so, they should complement each other and accept who they are. Something I learnt last night. How true... in the midst of pursuing everything, people become self centred. The focus is always on themselves. We forgot that we should live and breathe for our loved ones. Like that, life is easier and everyone is happier...

I hope everyone will have a good year ahead... tough times ahead just stay strong and FOCUS :D

400!!!

2009-01-30T13:51:00.003+08:00

Its my 400 entry!!! Finally we are there... PHEW!

Slowly and steadily...

This morning, I went back to office for "Heng Gang" only to realised that there is no "Heng Gang" at HSR. When I was in ERA, it was so fun, there was lots of colleagues, we had yusheng and there was lion dance. It felt abit quiet today, in fact too quiet... I missed the rowdy times last year... I miss....

Things haven been that smooth for me last year... Hopefully things are looking up. There are so much internal struggle for me. The last month, I felt like I was just pushing through with living ... where I am just breathing and the other part of my body took over to stay alive. I wish life was much simpler like the time when I was a kid.

When he passed the comment over coffee that he is focusing on a very important part of his life, and his work as well, I became frightened. I feel like he is another Mathew. Another heart I might break. I cant breathe properly now, in the past, while I was the one asking for commitment, this time, someone else wants my commitment. I feel like waking up, packing my bag and leaving home to some place where no one is around and I can clear my thoughts. Tomorrow will be a good day :D

I am afraid of alot of things... how can I move on from here? I guess... like what I told Yinle...

"In the midst of pursuing my dreams, I lost my courage."

Its time to find the courage back... God, can you return the courage that I lost along the way.

2009-01-29T20:42:00.002+08:00

When I tried to use my laptop charger today, I realised its not working. Hmm... when I looked closer... Its damaged!! by LUCKY!!! So angry lor...now I can only use my 7 inch laptop to surf net I dont even feel like coming online anymore.

I had the most amazing talk with him yesterday. Is that what you call soulmate? Seems too scary as we simply soak ourselves in such deep conversation, oblivious to everything else around us. I am afraid of getting hurt but I simply cant stop myself falling so deeply into everything thats happening. Hmm... lets take a step backwards again before I get hurt again. We seem to want to give everything we have but at the same time, we are just holding back for some reason which I dont know what.... Is the relationship doomed from the start? Have I not learn my lesson in love? So many questions unanswered....

Ger... time to put on that mask again... :D

恭喜發財！萬事如意！

2009-01-26T18:40:00.001+08:00

Okok... My hair is messy... but from the bottom of Lucky and my heart! Have a great 牛年 ahead! :D

I WANNA SLEEP!!!

2009-01-26T17:55:00.001+08:00

I need to sleep! But there are so many distractions around...

Must be the fengshui of our place again... always get unwanted attention...

For 1 full week, I can barely count the number of hours I rested... ARGH! Now I am cranky and blaming... though I am also responsible for what happened.

I WANNA SLEEP!!!

What I feel like saying is...

2009-01-25T09:18:00.002+08:00

What I feel like saying is...
I have a thousand words that I want to tell you. Yet at this point, none of them appear.

The sms you sent, shook my world. I cannot see the road ahead since its dimmed with obstacles... Yet now I know, the light is stronger as I walk. I was so afraid of being hurt again and I hesitated about giving my heart away.

I do not know why I deserve someone like you. You seemed too good to be true. All I know now, is that I want to hold your hand and walk our journey together. Someday, I hope soon, I will be able to give you much more much more...

Thanks Baby...

How do I walk on now...

2009-01-21T09:03:00.005+08:00

The past 2 weeks just flow pass my eyes. Everything happened so quickly. There is no time to sit and reconsider one's emotion and decision. Now I am simply pushing on to live my life.

Feeling upset that you seem to have moved on forgetting me. Its like after so many years, I didn't mean anything to you. Yet I have cried all my tears and have no more tears left for you. Maybe when God made me, he only gave me so much tears to cry for you and I have filled the quota.. :D

I am unsure of the path ahead but I see that its wet and filled with potholes. Hmm... I wonder who will take my hand and lead me across such difficult road? Perhaps I do not get a hand.... but a good friend gave me an umbrella yesterday. Maybe it could help me navigate ahead beyond the rocky road and just push me on till I reach that beautiful world out there.

Why have I been so emotional this morning? I slept a bare 4 hrs. Voices filled my head, alot of said but none was heard. Everyone of them drowned everyone else's voice. I can only say I have myself to depend on now.

Time to clean that hall fan now... :D

2009-01-16T19:49:00.002+08:00

Moving on too fast again...

Moving too close too fast again...

Must step back now...

Mind says no... heart says yes...

HOW???

I am so proud of...

2009-01-12T23:37:00.001+08:00

- Moving out on my own!!!
- Fly and tour Egypt on my own
- Saw the Pyramids
- Travel with all Ang Mohs
- Travel to Laos with Yinle
- Rode a motorbike in Laos with Yinle and...
- Crash the bike!!!
- Drank "Lao Lao" and still sober :D
- Sing quite well :D
- Hold my liquor quite well....

I wish I can add more to the list!

我们在开始的地方，结束了一切。

2009-01-12T11:53:00.000+08:00

四年前，我们到了Millenium Walk 的Paulener，开始了。
我们是那麽的年轻，那麽的单纯，那麽的开心。
一起谈的都是自己的梦想，一直传来的都是我俩的笑声
似乎一切都不重要。
生活就是简单。

四年后，我们也到回一样的地方，结束了。
现在的我们，
忘了当初我们在一起的快乐
忘了当初我们的笑声
忘了当初我们谈过的梦想
我本以为你和我一样放不下，原来只有我放不下，眼泪不听话，一直就往脸颊流下。

感谢你的出现，
感谢你做的一切
感谢你让我长大
感谢你让我独立
过了今天我会自己走下去
过了今天我就会学习忘掉你

<<你没想像中那么爱我>>

2009-01-11T14:34:00.003+08:00

你小心翼翼
牵我手其实是担忧
藏不住我自尊也投降
活在她之下我好傻

你字字句句说
你不爱她那又是什么
让你害怕我疑惑但是原谅
因为你留下我好傻

不是我不说就不在意空等候
原来你没想像中那么爱我
我不懂该拿什么安慰我的难受
你的存在让我更寂寞

你寸步不离像天使的她
挥霍我的爱从不放心上
我有一丝无奈也有一些明白
该放开

不是我不说就不在意空等候
原来你没想像中那么爱我
我不能再从你的怀抱感觉到什么
不爱我别再说假装爱那是撒盐在伤口

谁说我不在意空等候
原来你从来都没深刻爱我
我才懂不是我不心痛
其实是心没了感受

2009-01-09T01:09:00.005+08:00

Aunt Shuyi highlighted the other day that I owe "Steven" in my past life. Oh ya... cos of the 4 companies I worked for since I left school. 3 of my immediate bosses are Steven... 2 of whom are Steven Tan.. Geez what are the chance...

Anyway, I had dinner with Steven (HSR Boss) today and he was sharing his background etc with me. Got to know him a little better. Ah... I hope this time I meet a right boss *beaming with delight*. I also shared some of my crazy history with him and he seemed to be in shock. Ok thats not what I am getting to. After dinner on the way back, I was replaying the conversation with him. In fact I was so disturb that I had to be thinking about it through my evening jog.

It was only then I realise why...

I HAVEN GONE FOR ANY WACKY HOLIDAYS IN 2008!!!

Gosh and the damn year was gone. I wasted 365 days or was it 366 days... nvm... but luckily, when Yingle got home she showed me this crazy website...

Thus... I am going to do ferrata at Kota Kinabalu :D SO EXCITING!!!

My plan for the year, which I think I have lived quite well till now...

- Shock myself with my real estate earning
- climb Kota Kinabalu
- Run a 21km marathon

2009-01-07T09:34:00.001+08:00

If you want to run fast, you have to travel light. Always remember "To be mean, you have to be lean & nimble." So start trimming.

Saw this comment left on a colleague's facebook and realised...

Yap... rubbish was dumped in 2008. Why do I wanna go back to the chute to hunt for that bag of STINK?

Let me live my life for myself.

2009-01-02T19:17:00.002+08:00

I am excited about 2009! Amazing plans I have...

With a new home... a new name...

Everything is great! :D

2008-12-23T22:42:00.002+08:00

2008 is coming to an end so soon. Its been such a rough ride through the year. Alot of emotional rollar coaster.

Some decisions have been delayed too long...
Some problems have been neglected too long...
Some lies been kept too long...

Its never too late to wake up to a better life.

Me and Lucky are having a better 2009 :D

2008-11-19T13:18:00.002+08:00

Argh always have the urge to write in Mandarin but the software is forever so difficult to use. Like if I have set my mind on a certain word, the moment I add on another, the one I have chosen previously will be switch, like dictionary. Although the 2 words make sense together, IT DOESNT make sense for my entry... nvm...

Feeling abit under the weather... Just beginning to realise how selfish people are. Not that I am not selfish. Sometimes, I care too much, think too much for people. Which I should stop and think about myself.

My appointment get cancelled by ppl who placed emphasize on others. Who have been out drinking all night long... and is too tired to meet me...

Actually, its my fault, I allow such people to be in my life. People who take me for granted...

How many times have I told you I have a blog? And why so convienently say I didnt know you have a blog? How many times of calling me a maid? How many times of not doing anything and saying you are paiseh? Does any of these words mean anything to you? Or you simply say something to make yourself feel good... which I believe many of us will agree that we simply say it to make ourselves feel good...

Sorry people like this exist and all I want to do now is to go as far as possible from all these selfish people... But at the same time, I am thankful for some grace that I received from some people...

So hard to find genuine people these days... Now I will only say things that I mean... I will only hear things that I want to... Don't want to waste so little time listening to excuses.

I Just Ate Half A WaterMelon!!!

2008-11-16T21:59:00.006+08:00

Healthy !!

Valued !!

HUGE !!

ONLY @ Bedok Interchange Food Centre

This is how it came...

This is how it was gone...

2008-11-15T20:40:00.002+08:00

I came back from a wedding that touched me so deeply, I shed a tear. It was one of the most beautiful event... It make me know exactly whatI wanted in my life. Sorry guys for those who say, are you ridiculous? Just one afternoon at a wedding? Well... seriously guys, I have been to so many Weddings, of course I know what I am talking about!

*~~~*~*~*~~~*

Jason & Alice's Wedding

1. The couple were beautiful! Alice has this cherubic aura about her... and Jason looks like the handsome man who is always ready to protect his fair lady.

2. Jason was beaming with pride and joy and you truely knows how much he loves her. Its a shame that we forgot love like that. And It wonderful to be able to witness such powerful declaration of love he has for her...

3. The proposal ==> where he conspired with her best friends and rode in on a bump boat towards esplanade and kneeled for over 11mins because Alice refused to say "Yes"

4. More importantly, I always felt they had a fairytale love story...

*~~~*~*~*~~~*

Now I know, I can only get what I want when I open up my hand and free up whatever I didn't want and was holding on so tightly....

Thank God :D

2008-11-12T20:19:00.004+08:00

HIHI!!! I SURVIVED!!! HAHA

Had lunch with my ex-colleagues from one of the Big Local Bank... She was sharing how tense it is in office since their annoucement of retrenchment last week. Everyone is feeling the stress that over the next couple of weeks, some of them may end up jobless. Some of them live from paycheck to paycheck and have no idea what to expect once the axe comes down.

Well... I feel for them and as much as I want to, I dont know how I can help any of them, other than to offer a listening ear. Perhapes because I had worked there for about 3 years and became bonded with most of my colleagues there. At the same time, I am thankful that I left this place over a year back. Although, I worked harder over the last year, I was also well rewarded for my effort. Even though I lamented and even regretted, now looking back, I certainly am thankful that God has led me on such path that what most people call "different".

Yet I am also angered by such decision of the corporate. To retrench just so they can maintain their profit margin! Remembering correctly, the bank allocated about 10% of the staff wage to be deducted in case of recession. The rationale was that everyone get a paycut then someone get retrenched. Yes, they claim they will save jobs because they value talent. Yet in such an event, I am deeply disturbed how conveniently the bank has forgottten their promise to their staff, the very people who have helped them attain their fat profit in good times.

Alas, I am thankful that I have embarked on a different route. I have been very lucky in my life for alot of things. God never forsaken me and always give me alot of things. Sometimes, at the point of time, certain things that he gave me, I feel is not good enuff or is not what I would have wanted, and I feel upset. Now I understand that God has always gave me the best, and its only in a time like that that I can appreciate the Best in whatever he has given me.

No Laptop or PC for 24 hours!

2008-11-10T19:28:00.003+08:00

As you see, I have a love hate relationship with my Laptop...

I love it that it allows me to keep in contact with friends 24/7.
I love how I can surf and get any information in split seconds.
I love watching TV on it.
I love MY FB/MSN.
I love the wonderful presentation and photo editing.

I hate that I neglect talking to some of my friends in person anymore.
I hate that I watch too much TV.
I hate that I spend too much time on MSN and FB.Already plan for tomorrow ...

As such I declare tomorrow to be

LAPTOP/PC FREE DAY 11/11

(seriously, I am freaking out already)

Thus, I am trying very hard pack my schedule tomorrow. Till now, I have the following on my list:

- my GYM SESSION!!!
- Orientation in Office
- Fixing appointment for buyer
- Update my Database
- Completion at HDB
- Dinner with Ros & gang

Which means... I gonna print out all that I need by this evening... and no TV or Facebook for that matter...

If I survive this nerve wracking ordeal ... I be back on Wednesday...

Crazy or What?

2008-11-10T16:06:00.004+08:00

I just spent 3 days at Singapore Expo for "The Millionaire Mind" seminar. Office gave me the ticket and I reckon why not, since I have been bumming around. Its good to go for some motivational seminar.

My conclusion on the Seminar.... seriously, the idea was great! You feel empowered and like you can do almost anything the moment you leave the room. Also it makes you wonder about the power of the mind...

But... it was so commercialise! They were selling books, CDs, Websites, MORE VERY EXPENSIVE Workshops ===> all in the name of helping you achieve financial freedom.

Seriously people, do we really need a workshop that cost us over a few thousand dollars to help us learn about saving money, making money? I dont know. I find it hard for me to understand the craze about some people, flying across across half the world just so they can attend this kinda motivational talks. hmm......

If you are really keen in something like this, I would rather recommend you to Suchana. Her Mind Power workshop is conducted on a more personal touch, and she is like a friend which makes the whole workshop very relaxing. Plus, I find it very liberating when you actually can break chopsticks with paper :D feel free to contact her at her website. I think her next class is this coming weekend (15 - 16 Nov).

Now for a nap... zzzzz

If tomorrow is my last day on earth...

2008-11-04T23:47:00.000+08:00

If I only had 10 year to live...
- I will work and earn enough money to buy my dad a new home and car
- I will spend more time with family and Lucky
- I will fall in love with someone who loves me as much
- I will adopt 2 worldvision children
- I will dedicate half a day per week to volunteer at an orphanage

If I only had 1 year to live...
- I will have dinner with family every week.
- I will find a good home for Lucky
- I will travel to wherever I want
- I will meet up with all my friends

If I only had 1 month to live...
- I will have dinner with family every week.
- I will catch up with all my friends
- I will bring Lucky to the park every week

If I only had 1 week to live...
- I will spend time with family
- I will spend time with Lucky
- I will make sure I decide who Lucky will go to

If I only had 1 day to live...
- I will stay at home with my family
- I will invite my close friends over to spend the last hours with me
- I will tell Lucky how much I love him but I have to leave him
- I will give my money to my family and an orphanage

If I only had 1 minute to live...
- I will tell my family, Lucky and all my loved ones I love them and die peacefully.

So Live your life like its yours last. So you will never have any regret.

2008-10-26T11:15:00.002+08:00

如果不是那镜子
不像你不藏秘密
我还不肯相信
没有你我的笑更美丽

那天听你在电话里略带抱歉的关心
我嘟的一声切的比你说分手彻底
泪湿的衣洗干净阳光里晒干回忆
折好了伤心明天起只和快乐出去

这爱的城市虽然拥挤
如果真的遇见你
你不必讶异我的笑她无法代替

离开你我才发现自己
那爱笑的眼睛流过泪
像躲不过的暴风雨
淋湿的昨天删去(忘记)

离开你我才找回自己
那爱笑的眼睛再见爱情
我一定让自己让自己决定

泪湿的衣洗干净阳光里晒干回忆
折好了伤心明天只和快乐出去
这爱的城市虽然拥挤
如果真的遇见你
你不必讶异我的笑她无法代替

离开你我才发现自己
那爱笑的眼睛流了泪
当一个人看旧电影

是我不小心而已
离开你我才找回我自己
那爱笑的眼睛再见到你
我一定让自己让自己坚定

离开你我才发现自己
那爱笑的眼睛流过泪
像躲不过的暴风雨
淋湿的昨天忘记

离开你我才找回自己
那爱笑的眼睛再见爱情
我一定让自己让自己坚定
再见到你我一定让自己假装很坚定

2008-10-22T23:14:00.001+08:00

Lucky is so irritating... he keeps sleeping against me and his fur so HOT!

and now he sleeps in my place... I got no place to sleep!!!

I hate my dog!!!

Ok Just kidding... I love my lucky!

2008-10-22T02:41:00.001+08:00

I always have a thing for the past... Back to the future ppl!

Maybe can use in my IC next time wahahaha

2008-10-21T02:01:00.003+08:00

Its a sad and tiring night...

People grow old... and emptiness just starts to haunt them... Bad news playing on TV everyday, updates on facebook of joy and sorrow... Life is so complicated when you grow up.

I was just looking at my past entries, which I wrote without much restriction and consideration. I could remember seeing myself as the naive happy girl.

These days, I rather be alone so I wouldnt have to experience hurt again...
Then again... its these experience that make one stronger...

Where is God? Perhaps he forgot me since I was the one who forgotten him first.

Maybe when Mom left, she brought away half of the kid in me, forcing me to grow up.
Maybe when you came, you brought anger, disappointment, leaving me upset.

My best friends are my alchol and sleeping pills.

Sleepless nights are scary...

2008-10-21T01:15:00.003+08:00

bu zhi de - Dreamz FM

除了想你除了爱你我什么什么都愿意
翻开日记整理心情我真的真的想放弃
你始终没有爱过你在敷衍我一次一次忽略我的感受
我真的感到力不从心无力继续

这感情不值得我犹豫
不值得我考虑
不值得我爱过你

这种回忆不值得我提起
不值得想起
不值得哭泣

这段感情早就应该放弃
早就不该让我浪费时间找奇迹
这样的你不值得我恨你
不值得我为你而坏了心情

我决定不为你而毁了心放弃爱你

除了想你除了爱你
我什么什么都愿意
翻开日记打开心情我真的真的想放弃
你始终没有爱过
你在敷衍我一次一次忽略我的感受
我真的感到力不从心无力继续

这感情不值得我犹豫
不值得我考虑
不值得我爱过你

这种回忆不值得我提起
不值得想起
不值得哭泣这段感情早就应该放弃
早就不该让我浪费时间找奇迹

这样的你不值得我恨你
不值得我为你而坏了心情
我决定不为你而毁了心不为你而放弃爱情
不为你而毁了心我决定不为你而毁了心放弃爱你

2008-10-16T01:51:00.001+08:00

我也是有妈生的，不要以为我妈不在你们就能欺负我！

2008-10-13T13:32:00.003+08:00

I wanna rattle off my anger and unhappiness...

Some people whom I thought I could trust betrayed my trust and used me for their advantage. It irks me that such people exist... I felt worse when I realise I am so stupidly used for such purpose.

I have not been perfect but at least I tried to be nice to people. I am not an angel and I admit I have hurt some people real bad along the path. I suppose its payback time for me. As we aged, people start to be scheming and start to care only about themselves. Perhapes is how we are brought up in this society.

I have learnt my lesson... the hard way... but will that be the last? Not unless I do not wake up from my sleep tomorrow...

2008-10-13T01:32:00.001+08:00

2008-10-03T10:41:00.000+08:00

WOO!!!

I QUIT!!!!!!!

YET AGAIN....

2008-09-28T02:46:00.002+08:00

I fall in love altogether again... Me and my baby!

2008-08-26T16:04:00.002+08:00

In the older days... we had Einstein's flyaway hair

2008-08-21T17:06:00.003+08:00

I spent one afternoon to be told... Good things are coming soon. Just wait!

One simple word... WAIT

Tadah!!! One of the most impatient person in this world ==> ME ME ME

I sit...
And I stand...
And I walk about...
And I sigh... and its barely 5 mins...

Talk about waiting for another 2 years.

Its such a torture not knowing what will happen next but be told you just wait...

The game of WAITING... is such a pain.... sigh...

2008-08-18T17:02:00.003+08:00

Its Horrifying... Someone dial your number and hurl mean words to you!

I need not pay to listen to crap... in times like that the phone is over 1 m away from me to save my frail esteem from further hurt

I wonder why the mobile was invented.... to make mean ppl feel good about themselves

2008-08-12T12:05:00.002+08:00

I was all upset, angry, demoralise the entire of last week because my transfer issue. Up till yesterday I was still sore and upset.

Life goes on!

And I am back to work again!!

I need alot of money to buy my own house!!!

2008-08-04T21:20:00.009+08:00

Our Bachelorette Pad

2008-07-29T17:40:00.002+08:00

We are collecting our keys tomorrow 2pm!!

Just like in "Friends", me and YJ are moving in together... minus 3 guys and 1 ger...

Our own Bachelorette Pad! Will upload some pictures once we get the Key!!!

Wahaha so excited!!!

2008-06-27T11:24:00.002+08:00

小情歌
词曲:吴青峰
演唱:苏打绿

这是一首简单的小情歌
唱着人们心肠的曲折
我想我很快乐
当有你的温热
脚边的空气转了
唱着我们心头的白鸽
我想我很适合当一个歌颂者
青春在风中飘着
你知道就算大雨让这座城市颠倒
我会给你怀抱
受不了看见你背影来到
写下我度秒如年难捱的离骚
就算整个世界被寂寞绑票
我也不会奔跑
逃不了最后谁也都苍老
写下我时间和琴声交错的城堡
最后谁也都苍老

2008-06-18T19:52:00.001+08:00

BOTAK AGAIN

Not My Fault cos you are shedding :D

2008-06-13T18:25:00.002+08:00

Damages this month

LV Bag ==> $1,500
Color Laser Printer ==> $600

and perm and dress and many more

Geez... all because of the excuse STRESS!!!!!

2008-06-09T19:19:00.000+08:00

I hope Xiao Bai can join our small family soon :D

2008-06-03T23:43:00.002+08:00

Its nice...

when your tissue box is empty...
and you came back late...
and you found someone replaced a new tissue box..
:)))))

2008-06-03T12:15:00.002+08:00

am tired wanna sleep missing my bed

yet its Tues and its not off day yet

i cant sleep another hour more as much as I like to cos I have a dozen things to do. And I feel I am falling sick. *yawn* Maybe I will nap abit later. :(((((

2008-05-27T09:43:00.003+08:00

My brother asked me.... "Jie have you spoken with Dad about the car?"

Me: " Ya we even went to see Mazda 2 last Sunday."

Bro: "Good... So will I see the car when I am back?"

I found myself hesitating when I saw his msg. In my 2 days workshop, I thought I learnt a zillion things. I felt like a newborn learning from scratch how to crawl and not to be afraid of falling.

Yet... at this point, when my brother asked me such a simple questions. i found myself going back into the circle I so wanted to escape from. There were also thousands of reasons I started giving myself so that I hope I can escape his questioning when I choose not to buy the car yet.

And I realised.... I will decide...

I will get a car... just can't decided which model yet...
I know getting the car will spurn me on and drive me to greater achievement.
I know getting the car will allow me more time and freedom... I can leave my shoes and attire in the car and head to the gym. I can bring Lucky to Pasir Ris if I am free that afternoon.
I can bring Amy to buy flowers during New Year time. :D

So I have decided... I will call Lecan this Friday.

2008-05-23T12:08:00.001+08:00

2008-05-23T11:55:00.002+08:00

2008-05-21T11:35:00.001+08:00

Life is much more than working hard... earning money... material things like cars...

So its time to relax abit and smell the roses...

Its my OFF DAY TODAY~~~FINALLY!

2008-05-18T22:07:00.002+08:00

haha... as requested by Angie...

I also want... Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport Swift Sport

2008-05-15T23:37:00.004+08:00

I wan... Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2
Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2 Mazda 2

Irony...

2008-05-08T12:09:00.002+08:00

In the Midst of raising cost of commodities...

I realise MacDonalds is charging me 10 cents more because I do not want a Harsh Brown

2008-05-06T09:44:00.002+08:00

Baby sat still in the "cage" the groomer put him in. I thought he looked like a fake toy dog.

Now he is all fluffy and my aunt say he looks fat! But but but.... I love you so!!!

2008-05-04T11:21:00.000+08:00

My Phone is Pink!

2008-05-03T15:22:00.000+08:00

I am bored from calling so here is something to cheer me on... cutez!!!

2008-04-07T11:09:00.001+08:00

My brother seems to have been bitten by the travel bug. And I am just drooling with envy over the pictures he has taken on his numerous trip around Europe.

I am Jealous!!!

Now I wanna travel for a whole 3 months... but haiz... I can't bare to leave my baby... :<

2008-04-04T16:17:00.003+08:00

I nearly fell off earth thats why I haven been blogging for the longest time.
No Lah No more excuses... I was busy with work... baby... and Mahjonging!!! Since I am at my 1 week break from work to prepare for exams again, here I am!!!

Just some random pictures of Lucky baby... Back to books again... feast your eyes on the cutest dog!!! :D

2008-02-26T23:37:00.001+08:00

I am a sucker for cute things. This is ultra fun. I set my eyes on her.

2008-02-26T18:12:00.002+08:00

This is the resident cat of Blk 102. See how we simply adore him. Now he has got his personal bench with a mickey mouse pillow, a shrek cushion + lots of warm towel. Courtesy of the residents of Blk 102. Mr Cat usually take naps on the car and he will sneer at you if you should interrupt his rest.

How fortunate a cat!

2008-02-20T21:11:00.003+08:00

Its the 14th day of New year and I still have not Lou Hei!!!

This is what happens when your brother is overseas and your dad is preoccupied with his gf. So you just immerse in work. But I am still upset that I don't get to lou hei... tomorrow I am dragging some friends down to lou hei.

2008-02-15T17:41:00.005+08:00

Happy New Year... and of cos Belated Valentine's Day ( erm quite redundant i suppose) to you all!

This year, I won the most amount of money on the gambling table which actually amount to about $23. Wahaha! I seldom gamble but I was bored and played blackjack with some colleagues and I actually won. Well... I never win on gambling table for people who have gambled with me. So its a lucky year for me... at least I take it as a sign that its a lucky year for me.

Secondly... I am thrilled to receive sms from my friend in China. He was on his way to Pakistan... another business trip. Where we met almost 3 years back. My My! Time really fly... and now he is trying to convince me to go Australia in May cause he will be flying there.

Before CNY, I saw this pretty wristlet from Coach (its white lah... they don't have the picture online). Because I spent over $3k on lasik, I had a had time convincing myself to buy it though its not that expensive. Foong told me to think about it and see if my angpow can cover. So on 3rd day of new year, when the shops are all opened, I decided that I want my wristlet.

To my horror, ITS ALL SOLD OUT IN SINGAPORE. I went to every single outlet and they all say its SOLD OUT!!!! How can it be? I think I hyperventilated and nearly faint and died in Coach Raffles City. So I finally bought the key pouch, cut short my shopping spree that day, and went home to moan my loss. Still refusing to give up... I called Foong that evening about 8.30pm..

Me: Foong... do you think by any small chance, Isten might have that wristlet???

Foong: Erm... Don't think so... you want to go see again ah??

Me: erm... *grin sheepishly* ya... not close yet right???

Foong: Haha give up... ok lah lets go...

So I drove down to Isetan Orchard but ALL WRISTLETS ARE SOLD OUT! Not wanting to give up, I begged my cousin to accompany me to DFS for the last time. And just 15 mins before they close, we FINALLY FOUND IT! It was sitting prettily in a corner bickering to me. Haha both of us just jumped and scream and we nearly hugged each other. Which kinda shock the poor tired sales person. How lucky! Cause they just restock another 5 pieces of the wristlet and are only left with 2. I got a brand new one! Happy :D

hehe... thats another sign that Its my Lucky Year!!!

Here is a random picture of Lucky sleeping in his new bed. Pardon for the lousy picture. I didnt get as much lighting as I would like. Else he would be awoken.

2008-01-28T12:05:00.000+08:00

A Nice Surprise!

This morning a friend from China msned me. I have not heard from Denis since last year after he tried to contact me when he was in KL and I changed my no. Nvm... Nice. Also he told me he got married last Oct and of cause I requested to see some pictures of him and his wife.

Denis opted for an ancient wedding theme which have not taken place back in Chengdu for a long time and it was splashed all over the local papers. He pretty much look like how I remember him. Its not fair that some people have baby face and simply do not age! Oh his wife is so pretty! They are such a handsome couple! Indeed a nice surprise that a travelling bachelor like him intend to settle down eventually.

I am so excited for him. He told me that lots of his friends are rushing for a rat baby or "Olympics" baby this year, but he is really not ready. Hmm... Olympics baby... thats a first... Never heard of the Phrase before...

Lastly, Denis... I want to congrats you and your wife. Oh ya and also Early Happy New Year for you!

2008-01-25T10:26:00.000+08:00

Finally, I wake up to almost perfect vision! Hippee!!! I got my lasik from Dr Marc Tay ( The
Lasik Surgery Clnic). He is so nice. So totally humble. And he made the procedure seem so fast and you do not feel scared at all. Highly Recomended!!!

My brother left for Denmark for a 6 months exchange program. I didn't get to send him off because my eyes were so tired. God I miss his presence already. You really do not realise until one leaves simply because you take their presence for granted. Home is so quiet the last couple of days save with me nagging @ Lucky and him barking back in disagreement.

I could help stealing pictures of lucky from Ivy's blog. She capture Lucky in his cutest moment. Especially like her comment on his before and after look...

"Anyway, Kendrick's dog Lucky didnt have a choice. He had ticks/fleas and they had to shave him. When i was told, i could imagine him looking like a chihuahua, but when i saw for myself, i think he looks cute nevertheless :) He has pretty features, must be :)"

2008-01-13T12:31:00.000+08:00

I realised....

the reason why I have been drinking so much lately is because I am bored and have no idea what to do

the reason why I have been trying to work is because I feel lonely and needed to occupy my time

In shrt... I realise I am bored with life... Maybe its time to plan for something new

2008-01-04T03:26:00.000+08:00

Like a mirror you dropped and shattered me into a million pieces....
how to get back all the broken pieces?

2007-12-27T14:23:00.000+08:00

In honour of women's history month and in memory of Erma Bombeck who lost her fight with cancer.

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck
(Written after she found out she was dying from cancer).

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn! With my grass stains. I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's"; more "I'm sorry's."

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it... live it and never give it back.

STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!! Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what Instead; let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

2007-12-25T10:18:00.001+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

Last night we celebrated at Pan Pacific. Think I drank too much cos they keep offering to top up my glass. Also think I made quite a scene... wahaha anyway...

Oh I received lots of presents from my ex-DBS colleagues. Such a warm batch of friends! But this year I did not buy anything for them... So upset at myself

Just cant resist to take a picture of baby Lucky when I was blowing him dry... Wet dog aint a happy dog

2007-12-17T11:29:00.000+08:00

I switch to Hallmark Channel this morning and they were showing the movie "The Christmas Shoes". It was about a little boy who wanted to buy a pair of shoes for his dying mom so she looks pretty in heaven. Sadly he picked a pair of red flats but did not have enough money for it. He begged a nice young man to loan him money to buy that last pair of shoes for his mom. So he carried his shoes and went home to him mom. She thought its the most beautiful shoes that she ever wore and that she will look really beautiful in heaven.

And all I can think of is how I shopped for a nice blouse for Mom all because I wanted her to look pretty in heaven too. Its christmas again and Mom loves christmas the best. I recall present shopping and tree decorating. And all the gifts will label our names under the tree while we await eagerly for Christmas to come...

Merry Christmas people... Treasure your loved ones while you can